A bit of fun - a bedtime story I wrote for my pups!
Muddy
stretched his paws and arched his back easing out the knots of the day. It had
been a busy one with a lost poodle found safely – silly girl had gotten herself
locked in a shed after hiding from a cat. Seriously! He’d taken the trouble to
see the cat off personally, it would be a while before it dared show its feline
face in Daisy’s garden again – all part of the service and rather fun with it!
He was
readying himself for a nap when a sharp bark announced a visitor to his
detective establishment.
He cocked
his ears in recognition. Why, if it wasn’t his good friend Molly! He was rather
fond of this particular Golden Retriever. He had to admit that her locks and
looks were rather compelling, but she was also pretty adorable in most ways. He
was a bit smitten! He greeted her with a sniff and some serious tail wagging.
“How can I
help you my dear Mollster?” he enquired with a cock of his head. “Or is this
merely a social call?” Muddy rather hoped it was the latter. A snooze by the
fire with Molly by his side would be most agreeable.
“Somebody
keeps stealing my pigs’ ears!” announced his friend. “Every time my humans open
the cupboard on Wednesdays…. That’s pigs ear day….. They have mysteriously
disappeared!”
Muddy was
shocked to the tip of his tail. This was most serious. The theft of a dog’s
treat was not to be taken lightly – particularly if this was turning out to be
a regular horror. He resolved to take the case immediately. “Leave it with me,”
he declared. “I will give it my immediate attention.”
In fact,
Muddy had a sneaking suspicion he knew who the culprit was and, picking up a
bone to chew over the problem, he retreated to his favourite patch of floor by
the fireplace to think things through while Molly headed home.
It was a
source of constant surprise to Muddy how much the simple act of gnawing on a
bone could help his cognitive process.
After
giving his teeth and appetite a whet, Muddy pulled himself up to his not
inconsiderable height – he was after all a quarter Great Dane and, putting his
best paw forward (that would be front left), he headed out the door on the
trail of the thieving culprit.
Following
the delectable scent left by the deliciously delightful Molly he headed over to
the abode she shared with her humans, canine brother in mischief, Gunner – a
somewhat exuberant and rather well-built German Shepherd and a member of the
lesser species known as cat.
Gunner
greeted Muddy with his usual noise and enthusiasm. Muddy gave him a hard stare
that knocked some of that out of him.
“What?
Why?” stammered the big beast. Muddy looked deeply into the Shepherd’s brown
eyes and slowly said two words. “Pigs ears”. He was testing the waters to see
if his suspicions were well-founded. Gunner reacted not with the guilt that
Muddy was expecting, instead his face reflecting the same level of
consternation as his sister.
“Have you
found who stole our pigs’ ears?” Gunner whimpered. Muddy immediately realized his
mistake. In his rush to impress Molly, he had forgotten the first rule of
detective work – gather all the available facts! He has failed to ask that all
important question around if Molly herself had questioned her brother. Clearly,
given the look of innocence on his whiskers, he was another victim of the
dastardly thief. Muddy was back to the drawing board without so much as a
pencil to scribble a theory!
All this
consternation he kept to himself though. Instead, he merely sniffed the air to
give the indication that he was about important detective business and followed
his nose to the treat cupboard where there was alarming scent of cat lurking
about. Could he have found the culprit now?
The fiend
herself chose that moment to slink through the cat flap. She gave Muddy a look
of disdain before beating a hasty retreat to the counter top and hissing at
him. Muddy sighed. When would cats learn that they were the inferior species
and should be neither seen nor heard? He took a risk and sniffed her, receiving
a swipe to his nose in the process. Other than the pervading feline odour which
was enough to put any self-respecting dog off his dinner, there was nothing
porcine about her. Plus given her size, he did wonder at her capacity to devour
one piggies ear, let alone two. Another dead end. This case was turning out to
be most troublesome.
At that
moment, one of the humans arrived home. As is tradition in the world of woof,
much excitement was required to be demonstrated together with a chorus of
questions as to why the four-legged members of the household had been abandoned
for weeks, months or was it just a few hours? Muddy hid under the table – his
presence in the house may have required some explanation which dogs struggle to
communicate to their humans, them not yet aware that dogs have careers, let
alone ones as detectives. Within a few minutes though the mayhem had eased down
a decibel or two and Muddy was able to assess the situation from the shadows. His
hound’s nose had detected something rather important that was lurking at the
bottom of a shopping bag. Mixed with the scents of tripe, liver and marrowbone
was the unmistakable odour of pig! A new supply of ears had arrived. This would
be the perfect opportunity to catch the thief in action! He settled down to
watch and wait. Fortunately for Muddy it was Wednesday and not Thursday or that
could have been a long and hungry stake out!
The female
human busied herself in the kitchen. Muddy did not take his eyes off her. A
quantity of meat that set Muddy’s saliva glands drooling found a home in the
freezer with a tempting pile also left out to reach room temperature. Muddy was
glad he was such a trustworthy dog, or he’d be needing to investigate himself
for theft! He studiously ignored the gourmet meal defrosting in front of his
fangs and refocused his attention on the human. She opened the treat cupboard
and in went the bones…
Muddy was
vaguely aware of the sound of an engine approaching but failed to realise the
significance of the noise until both Molly and Gunner erupted in a further
cacophony of barking and bemoaning their abandonment. Poor Muddy’s hit head the
underside of the table as he leapt in shock. By the time he had regained his
composure and the stars circling his ears had retreated back to the sky, the
shopping had all been unpacked and both humans were staring at the picture box
in the corner of the room with dogs draped over them in supplicated joy. An
ideal time for a thief to strike thought Muddy. He began his stakeout in
earnest. The culprit would be caught and held to account – Muddy was determined
and when he was in this frame of mind nothing would get in his way!
“Did you
give the dogs their pig ears?” asked the male human of the female. “No, I just
put them away” she replied. “I actually forgot it was Wednesday!” The man
moaned a bit then creaked his body into a standing position and shuffled into
the kitchen in the direction of the cupboard. Muddy was confident that all
would be well. This week at least Molly and Gunner would be chewing happily on
the greasy gristle.
However, Muddy
could not have been more wrong! The human was rummaging in the cupboard for far
too long. He pulled out biscuits and bones and even food for the cat. Muddy
couldn’t believe his whiskers. The pigs ears had gone again – and right under
his nose! It couldn’t be happening! His reputation would be in tatters. Not
only had he failed to apprehend the criminal but had allowed them to strike
while he was on duty. He was so flabbergasted that he forgot his stealth
mission and broke cover much to the confusion of the humans who had never met a
dog detective before, let alone one of Muddy’s standing and size.
Of course,
a situation such as this required a great deal of barking and it took a while
for the humans to realise that Muddy was friend rather than foe. Thankfully
Molly’s wagging tail helped eventually convince them of this fact; that and the
fact that Gunner was sucking his bear and not the life out of Muddy. Just to be
on the safe side, Muddy also employed his big soft-eyed look and rolled over on
his back presenting his ample belly for a tickle. In fact, this tactic was so
successful that it resulted in the somewhat surprising solving of the case and,
more importantly, something rather delicious for Muddy.
The female
human was so taken by Muddy’s behaviour that she offered to fetch him a pig’s
ear! Seems that she had discovered something of a glut of them in the house.
Unbeknown to anyone else in the family, she had – for reasons which are the
sole preserve of the female human species and remain a mystery to both dogs and
men alike – CHANGED THE PLACE WHERE THE PIGS EARS WERE KEPT! And worse, she had
put them inside an airtight container thus hiding both sight and smell of the Wednesday
treats. There was no and never had been a thief!
For some
time after there was no sound in the house but the contented chewing of three
large ears. Shortly after that, Muddy’s humans appeared at the door having been
summoned by calling his office number (worn proudly on his collar). He bade his
farewells to his hosts promising to keep an eye out for his pals in the park
over the coming days when they could relive the tale and taste of the
adventure!
As he
settled into the warm and slightly smelly comfort of his bed that night, Muddy
reflected on the day and the mysterious behaviour of humans. Frankly he
couldn’t understand why anyone would want to put a pig’s ear anywhere other
than in a dog’s mouth in the first place but his was not to reason why! He gave
a big yawn and a sleepy wag of his tail, rested his head on his tatty stuffed
bear – called Sherlock naturally – and fell fast asleep!
The End.
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