The Yes Girl

The prompt for this week's Wishcasting (What do you wish to say "yes" to?) had to make me smile. Earlier this year I read the hilarious Danny Wallace account of his one year of saying Yes to everything - and I mean everything - you can read all about it in this earlier post. There's a Jim Carey film of the same name which I think must be loosely based on it.

Boy did this guy get himself in some scrapes, but he also experienced some things beyond his wildest imaginings - some not entirely legal! I finished the book resolving to follow his lead (a little). As I grow older it seems far too easy to say No. No is usually the safer alternative, requiring less energy and effort. No means you stay at home and watch TV with your feet up. No doesn't see you completing the Army assault course at Sandhurst, water-skiing none too gracefully and swallowing pints of sea water or clinging precariously half way up a rock face wondering if you are about to plummet to your death (yes, these I have in the past said "yes" to!).

It's been a while since I did anything requiring the wearing of safety equipment. In fact, I'm ashamed to admit that I recently got a bit scared on a big slide at a park (one that my five-year-old son happily went on about 50 times without batting an eyelid). It has also been a few months since I read that book and resolved to be a bit more of a yes girl. I'm not too bad at it though. Tonight, for example, I have been organising a craft evening at my son's school where I shall be selling my wares (no hard hat required).

I've said yes to the NaNoWriMo challenge next month. A little thing - we have to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days... I've also said no to a job opportunity in Dubai and a slot on the X-Factor (let someone younger have their chance of singing super-stardom I say). Well, one of those might be true... I'm doing OK, but in true school report fashion - I could do better. So, this week, I stand proud and say "Actually, I would like to say Yes more to things I too easily say No to". Take me out of my comfort zone and dangle me in the face of opportunity!

Oh yes, and if any Hollywood producer phones me up with the offer of turning my (yet to be written, let alone published) novel into a film starring George Clooney and Hugh Jackman, with a cameo role for yours truly, then the answer would most definitely be a big resounding YES PLEASE!!

Me, myself and I

It's that time of the week again - Wishcasting Wednesday - when all around the world bloggers are casting their dearest wishes to the wind and hoping it blows in their favour. This week Jamie Ridler asks us "Who is the 'you' you want to be?"

I watched a DVD a while back that a friend leant me called The Secret. Its message was simple. Ask the Universe for what you want and, just a pizza, it will be delivered. Just like that? Surely not? Or maybe... I've also read books suggesting that writing down your goals means you are 80% more likely to achieve them. So, when I started this blog I wrote down that I wanted to be a writer.

Since then I would also like to add the words 'and artist'. OK, so I'm not trained and the old inner critic frequently has a fine old time laughing its socks off at my ambitions, but that's just what they are. Ambitions. Artist and Writer. No particular order and let's face it I also allow for a little definition stretching.

I would qualify myself as an artist once I had sold a couple of pieces. We're not talking breaking the bank - just creating something that another human wanted to own and part with a few coins for the pleasure of.

Blogland has already satisfied one ambition. For is blogging not writing? I have had several lovely comments from people telling me I am a writer. At first you just smile but secretly think "well, not really...." But am I not published? At work they employ me because I can write, so I am a professional writer. Wow. It feels great typing that! What the ambition really is though is to follow up from those childhood stories I loved writing about - cute little squirrels and fluffy rabbits living in woodland; girls having high japes at boarding schools and sequels to Star Wars where maybe I just cast myself in the Princess Leia role (naturally I spent my early teenage years with a huge crush on Harrison Ford!). I've frequently blogged on and on about THE NOVEL that is sitting up there in my imagination getting fat and indolent through lack of exercise and so pale and pasty as it pines for sunlight. It really needs to get an airing and sooner rather than later. This week I painted a character that will play a key role. And I mean that literally painted... with paint... rather than figuratively. I would share the picture but I am holiday and was not quite desperate enough to pack my scanner as well as laptop!

The character 'painting' is, so my inner critic reminds me, avoidance technique. As long as I'm creating something then that's OK. It's just not the novel. Is it laziness or do I just really enjoy blogging and painting? Is it simply that there aren't enough hours in the day to cram it all in? My life frequently feels like an over-stuffed suitcase with a loose lock. Any second now the whole lot threatens to fly - watch out for socks and smalls over your heads!


What a ramble. Shall I finish up now? OK, so the answer to the question is:

The 'me' I want to 'be' is a writer, artist and good mother. There. I could have said that six paragraphs ago, but where would have been the fun in that!

Now I need to select a picture. Shall we just have a holiday snap? Yeah, why not... We have an appropriately magical-looking staircase in Mousehole - where we may have just caught a glimpse of Mowzer's tail disappearing around the corner at the top. And, just check out that beach (Porthcurno). Believe me it looks even better when you are standing on it wriggling your toes in the sand and catching a sharp intake of breath when the icy water splashes on them! Oh to be in England in the summertime...

(by coincidence, the Mowzer link takes you to BBCiplayer where you can listen to the story of the famous Mousehole cat - but only for three more days - what serendipity! It's a lovely story and the illustrations are beautiful)

Opening doors

Jamie Ridler invites us to share our wishes. Which door do I want to open?

My door is already opening. In fact, every day it seems to get just that little bit wider. It's the door to possibility, to creativity and following the true self. It's a door I gradually closed to myself a long time ago as the weight of life and responsibility took over. I doubt that many of us allow this secret door much access - we hide it behind the pile of our life and just get on with existing until so much is accumulated in front that we forget it was even there in the first place.

The door opens the room to ambition and dreams. Society pushes us away from living our dreams. We don't recognise that this is a fight we need to win. Instead of rolling over and dragging ourselves to work in jobs that suck us dry, we should roll up our sleeves and do battle... Life is not a rehersal. My dreams of being a writer/creative are in that room and I am going in to rescue them, to play and have fun. I've spent that last few months pulling away all those boxes of excuses from the doorway. I held the key in my hand and tentatively unlocked.

At first tiny tendrils of creative expression began to peek tentatively through the tiny gap, but the shoots grew strong and helped push from the other side until the gap opened wider and wider... To borrow an expression from Connie at Dirty Footprints, I am living the 'creative juicy life'. I'm sucking up its fruity deliciousness and licking my lips. It fortifies me with energy. It opens the door to new beginnings!