Finding my way

I've been attempting to work my way through The Artist's Way by creative legend Julia Cameron. I started it about three years ago so 'attempt' is definitely the right descriptor. This time though I'm with a book group (organised by the rather wonderful Jessica Brogan and we're taking a chapter a month, rather than the week that Julia suggests.

You would think this would be easy. But it's not... I am already a month behind after just three. I have only written my morning pages about five times which is not exactly what Julia recommends (shh.... don't tell her!).

I have been on a few artist dates though - and last week's retreat 'filled the well' to overflowing (I'm still mopping up the ideas...they did get a bit out of control).

Anyway, I was swimming around in Chapter 3 yesterday when something really struck a chord and part explains some repetitive and self-destructive behaviour that has been baffling me for some time. Julia writes:

"Answered prayers [dreams] are scary. They imply responsibility. You asked for it. Now that you've got it, what are you going to do?"

What indeed? I told the universe I was going to organise a day's creativity course. I built it. They came (or they're coming... it hasn't happened yet). Now, faced with the prospect of standing up in front of expectant faces, I find my inner critic whispering reasons to cancel... "you're not good enough", "there's not the full contingent you were hoping for"... It would be so easy to just postpone (or, worse still, cancel) it wouldn't it. To take this offered dream and fling it back at the Universe. Julia captures this perfectly:

"The universe is prodigal in its support. We are miserly in what we accept. All gift horses are looked in the mouth and usually returned to sender. We say we are scared by failure, but what frightens us more is the possibility of success."

Why is this? What could be so scary about becoming the person we were meant to be?

The answer is probably CHANGE - we all get nervous about that right? But also, it means EXPOSURE. By opening my creativity up to others I am giving a glimpse into my soul. Teaching my approach to art and creativity and sharing my passions feels vulnerable and pretty darn scary.

Reading Julia's words gave me the reassurance that I'm not alone. These urges to back away into the comfort of the known is just natural and happens to us all. The trick is not to listen; to have faith. It's time to recognise that I am more than average. I know I can do it. And furthermore I will...

Now, if just a few more people would sign up.... Come on... you know you want to!

To the Lake District and back...

... in around three hours.

Photo by walkinguphills on Flickr

Normally it's at least a four hour drive to get there. Then, to take in all the scenery, to walk the fells, skirt the shores and nibble on the gingerbread, why that's a few days at least...

Well, thing was I didn't have time to escape and frankly the weather's not really that encouraging of outdoor activity these days. So I cheated... I watched a TV programme while on the cross-trainer at the gym.

I followed Herdwick sheep across their heaf. I rode the Ravenglass railway and soaked in the scenery like a sponge. I wandered lonely as a Wordsworth and watched Peter Rabbit dodge Mr McGregor through the hedgerows. I had such a good time that I actually set myself an additional program on the cross trainer so I could carry on watching. The sun even shone. It was a perfect Artist's Date.

Above all, I remembered childhood summers clambering the fells and dipping toes in the icy lakes and rivers. After our first trip there when the sun reflected the mountains in the still lakes we felt we had discovered Nirvana. It truly is a place of magic where coming across an ancient stone circle or the remains of a Roman fort is nothing out of the ordinary and romantic teenagers can dream about heroes striding across the fields. I have diaries crammed with memories, but sadly the sun never shone quite so spectacularly again, so there's a fair bit of rain-damage to my notebooks!

Quoting creativity (2)

In another moment of glorious serendipity I alighted with anticipation upon this week's 'Theme Thursday' challenge to discover that they are thinking along the same lines as yours truly and have chosen 'beautiful words' as their subject for us all to dabble in delight in.

So, for the second time this week, I continue my journey among creative quotation and borrow inspiration from the creative thoughts of others. Today we thank Alan Alda for bringing life and colour to the page.

I willingly leapt into the wilderness for this - a wild and romantic garden overlooked by a brooding medieval castle, whispers of magical creatures and secret pathways to the depths of the imagination. The more I create, the more I do indeed find myself and I'm starting to like what I see.

Much of this work was prompted by my 'artist date' yesterday - just me, my muse and a very magical place - but more on that in another post... (you see it better if you click to enlarge).

(Very) mixed media - scrapbook background, collage, acrylics, photography and photoshop.

Speaking of creativity... I'm planning on signing up for the second of these two journaling supernova classes in September from the Land of Lost Luggage. Very excited!