Me, myself and I

It's that time of the week again - Wishcasting Wednesday - when all around the world bloggers are casting their dearest wishes to the wind and hoping it blows in their favour. This week Jamie Ridler asks us "Who is the 'you' you want to be?"

I watched a DVD a while back that a friend leant me called The Secret. Its message was simple. Ask the Universe for what you want and, just a pizza, it will be delivered. Just like that? Surely not? Or maybe... I've also read books suggesting that writing down your goals means you are 80% more likely to achieve them. So, when I started this blog I wrote down that I wanted to be a writer.

Since then I would also like to add the words 'and artist'. OK, so I'm not trained and the old inner critic frequently has a fine old time laughing its socks off at my ambitions, but that's just what they are. Ambitions. Artist and Writer. No particular order and let's face it I also allow for a little definition stretching.

I would qualify myself as an artist once I had sold a couple of pieces. We're not talking breaking the bank - just creating something that another human wanted to own and part with a few coins for the pleasure of.

Blogland has already satisfied one ambition. For is blogging not writing? I have had several lovely comments from people telling me I am a writer. At first you just smile but secretly think "well, not really...." But am I not published? At work they employ me because I can write, so I am a professional writer. Wow. It feels great typing that! What the ambition really is though is to follow up from those childhood stories I loved writing about - cute little squirrels and fluffy rabbits living in woodland; girls having high japes at boarding schools and sequels to Star Wars where maybe I just cast myself in the Princess Leia role (naturally I spent my early teenage years with a huge crush on Harrison Ford!). I've frequently blogged on and on about THE NOVEL that is sitting up there in my imagination getting fat and indolent through lack of exercise and so pale and pasty as it pines for sunlight. It really needs to get an airing and sooner rather than later. This week I painted a character that will play a key role. And I mean that literally painted... with paint... rather than figuratively. I would share the picture but I am holiday and was not quite desperate enough to pack my scanner as well as laptop!

The character 'painting' is, so my inner critic reminds me, avoidance technique. As long as I'm creating something then that's OK. It's just not the novel. Is it laziness or do I just really enjoy blogging and painting? Is it simply that there aren't enough hours in the day to cram it all in? My life frequently feels like an over-stuffed suitcase with a loose lock. Any second now the whole lot threatens to fly - watch out for socks and smalls over your heads!


What a ramble. Shall I finish up now? OK, so the answer to the question is:

The 'me' I want to 'be' is a writer, artist and good mother. There. I could have said that six paragraphs ago, but where would have been the fun in that!

Now I need to select a picture. Shall we just have a holiday snap? Yeah, why not... We have an appropriately magical-looking staircase in Mousehole - where we may have just caught a glimpse of Mowzer's tail disappearing around the corner at the top. And, just check out that beach (Porthcurno). Believe me it looks even better when you are standing on it wriggling your toes in the sand and catching a sharp intake of breath when the icy water splashes on them! Oh to be in England in the summertime...

(by coincidence, the Mowzer link takes you to BBCiplayer where you can listen to the story of the famous Mousehole cat - but only for three more days - what serendipity! It's a lovely story and the illustrations are beautiful)