Monday, 10 December 2012
I love shoes. I mean I'm female so it's hormonally programmed right?
... the thing is... I often wonder if there's not some great conspiracy going on out there. I mean does anybody actually find high heels comfortable to walk in, let alone leap about on a dance floor in all night? Why oh why don't party dresses look just quite right with a comfortable pair of flats? Why don't shops sell shoes with kitten heels any more? Why do stilts just look so gorgeous? In fact, I think retailers have actually stopped selling shoes; they are instead peddling us sculptures intended merely for show rather than actually walking about in.
I might just put all my shoes on shelves and wear books on my feet instead. I am sure they would be more comfortable. In fact, if I did this and the whole trend caught on, I could sell half my collection - anybody want to buy a selection of left shoes (I have to keep the [w]right ones for obvious reasons).
As the Christmas party approaches I have to confess I think I've found a sneaky little solution. You see I'll turn up in the heels when everyone is still sober enough to care or remember what I'm wearing, then later on when the dancing really warms up and I need my feet for, well, supporting my body weight... I'll sneak to the cloakroom for a quick change into some ballet pumps. Shhh don't tell!