M is for Millionaire Matchmaker

You know how sometimes you have to watch trash TV. When nothing else will suit the mood, you need a fix of drivel...I've found the perfect blend in over-the-top, cringe-worthy, loud-mouthed, sometimes romantic, hilarious and just plain entertaining Millionaire Matchmaker!

Patti makes Simon Cowell come across as soft as she both selects mates for her clients and then gives them a piece of her mind about what they've been doing wrong all these years... "Who does that?"

Yet even this manages to provide some educational aspect as along with the insults and put downs, Patti dishes out relationship advice by the bucket load. Style tips too - though I was with the poor sod who was somewhat reluctant to listen to Destin's makeover advice... I mean would you trust a man with a mohican to take you to the hairdressers?

I mean this with no disrespect, but Americans can do trashy TV so much better than us Brits (although My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding may give you a run for your money). Maybe it's because they are from another country and culture that adds to the whole glamour of the experience. I'm not sure what it is, but I love it.

I do find it hard to believe that the show isn't scripted. I mean are these people seriously for real? One lady took a guy on a date - she booked out a whole cinema for a private screening ... of her own promotional tapes!

I love how Patti always includes a few red herrings in her mixers - the most unsuitable matches (yet the kind that they usually go for!). One guy may has well have had 'gold digger' tattooed across his forehead, yet our 'Hello Kitty-loving' millionaire still picked him. Patti's reaction was priceless. Sometimes she throws clients out of her office for being so useless and shallow. She really is very scary!!

Reading this back some hours after I wrote it, I realise it's not terribly well written - maybe the nature of the show is rubbing off on me. I think I'll give up and go see if I've an episode recorded and ready to watch...