Monday, 22 April 2013

S is for Supermarket Scream

I'm not sure what it is with supermarkets, but they appear to trigger the inner demon within me. The second my car makes the turn and surveys the sea of vehicles all fighting for parking, my nerves immediately begin to fray.

Once inside this mild-mannered 40-something with a cheery disposition and friendly outgoing nature disappears. She is replaced, instead by some form of evil super-villain with the most aggressive, impatient nature. She wants to snarl and shove and pick up slow shoppers and throw them out of her way as her every turn is blocked, the goods she craves barricaded in by the gormless deliberating over which carrot to select and her legs tied in knots trying not to trip over children running riot.

It's not their fault. I think that most shoppers (with the exception of yours truly) are afflicted with a mild case of zombification as they step into the store. They seem unable to move in a straight line and lurch mindlessly through the groceries, stopping for no apparent reason in the middle of the aisle or just staring with bemusement at the yoghurts when I'm trying to get past them to grab my own - the one I had pre-selected in my mind before I got to the shop, never mind the dairy counter.

The power to make even the most simple decisions is leached from the conscious of the shopper, although it does appear that this particular ailment more often afflicts the long-married couples whose inability to decide between them whether to have a custard cream and a jammy dodger with their tea can drive one to delirium!

And let's not get onto trolley control. Surely we should be made to pass a test before being let loose with these weapons of mass frustration. Steering, parking and general control are concepts lost on most.

Finally we reach the checkout where inevitably there will be some problem with an item or two necessitating the supervisor call... Or the slow packer, the chatterbox, the paying with small change...

OK, I'm exaggerating slightly! However, the day I wrote this post had involved a particularly irksome grocery shop and I needed to vent!

And at least it's not Walmart...


  1. ...have you been reading my mind?

  2. So funny!! I think you're writing about me!!! I am a terrible grocery shopper. My husband would tell you my case of zombiefication is pretty severe. He's doing us all a favor when he picks stuff up at the store for our family. :)

  3. Yes, Walmart is the worst if you are even remotely in a hurry!

  4. I feel exactly the same whenever I'm in a supermarket. That's why I like to use the 24 hour ones in the middle of the night when no-one else is around!


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