Tuesday 28 September 2010

Farumph


I've been struggling creatively for the last week. A mixture of a heavy workload, a head cold, travel and generally not enough hours in the day. I began to fret. I began to itch (metaphorically!). I had to be creative... But of course, when you're thinking about it so much and then finally manage to grab that illusive hour what happens? Block naturally! I didn't know what to create, I couldn't think of what to blog. Had I forgotten how?

Then I realised what I've been doing all day at work. Writing! Being creative! I might not share those fruits in this particular salad bowl but I would like to assure you they have been happening. And, what is more, I appear to be making my living as a writer! I still feel a bit fake - suffering from those fears that I'll suddenly be found lacking, that everything to date was a fluke. I have to confess I'm feeling the pressure, especially as a freelancer it often feels like you're only as good as your last piece of work. I think we all go through that. I watched incredible singers on the X-Factor cringing with a lack of self belief. I shout at the TV telling them to pull back their shoulders and ooze confidence, to believe, but I guess we rarely listen to our own advice!

I think I've got to 40 and finally figured out what it is I want to do with my life and now I'm in too much of a rush! Right now half my mind is on an unfinished piece for tomorrow's Three Muses challenge - I'm painting a Victorian lady - and fretting over whether it will be good enough to post. The other half distressed that this written piece isn't flowing the way it should, that it seems to lack something... Am I becoming too much of a perfectionist?

Aghrrrr. I'll just post a picture I made yesterday and get myself an early night I think .... after I've finished my painting .... and read this through a few more times ... and ...

(This was also a creation for the Victorian challenge - a digital collage inspired by Victorian wallpaper and those delightful painted ladies that blend into the backgrounds.)
Postscript: A day later and I came across this post on Amelia's blog (a favourite place to visit). She shares some tips on overcoming that creative block.

12 comments:

  1. Hi there, I can so relate to this post, I think we all question our abilities all the time as artists, whether we're singing, writing, dancing, drawing etc. I really like this lady, I think she's beautiful and love the textured background blending in with the figure. It's comforting for me to know that I'm not alone with my self doubts and artistic blocks from time to time, so thank you for sharing, I'm looking forward to seeing your Victorian lady, I'm sure she'll be beautiful!

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  2. This is a wonderful post... I think we have all been there. The texture of this piece and your muted tones are great.

    Love your blog and love your art (even the pieces you're not in love with - like the painted envelope below)!

    Keep pushing your inner perfectionist aside because I always enjoy seeing your work :)

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  3. Beautiful Lisa..she is mysterious and dreamy! And you are wonderful and talented at ALL you do! let your energy flow..simply as it wishes..no pressure..just be. You are a dazzling sparkle and i so admire you..shine on!
    Victoria~

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  4. ~farumph...is a beautiful piece...the delicate floral detail is an ever so magical touch giving her such a feminine quality to reside...big deep breaths to be in your moment...it is so easy to get caught up in our days and all the things to and sometimes we miss what is right in front of us...you are as good as your last piece...pull your shoulders back and BELIEVE the same words you shout to at those on tv...sometimmes hearing our words are hard to folow!! you are a creative soul that shows in all that you do...even when you feel its a ramble it is always well put....much l♥ve and light to you~

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  5. I love this piece and I too related to your post. I have finally decided that my art makes me happy and if it is not perfect in my eyes, it may be in someone else's. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all.

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  6. This is a beautiful piece...I only realized you made it after reading the whole way through.
    I like what you said 'but I guess we rarely listen to our own advice!'
    That rang the bell for me! Well said, girlfriend, I can relate to that, too much.
    Xox

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  7. Every now and then, we all go under the rug ... having wool over our eyes ... jut trust the process and eventually you'll get there. And if I might say that -- you're doing wonderfully well. Keep shining my dear blogging friend. :D

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  8. Very mysterious lady and very creative of you.

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  9. thanks for the link! I am not quite yet 40 and have finally figured out what I want to do with my life and you wouldn't believe what a rush I get myself in to. Not a surprise that I get worn out to the point that I can't even go out in the evening sometimes!!!

    It's a good feeling though.

    Glad that my post may have been of some help :)

    You are one industrious lady though, I don't make probably half as much as I feel I should be!

    Amelia.x

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  10. love this image - hope you're feeling more inspired, but you seem to be doing well enough!

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  11. Beautiful image - using the wallpaper pattern is a great idea! I hope you are feeling better already!

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  12. Hmmm yep I know just what you mean! I had my first column published this week and already I started thinking 'oh god, supposing I can't think of anything to write one week!" LOL! Now deep breath and say after me. "I am a writer and I never run out of ideas!"

    Ro xxxxx

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Thank you for your comments - I always love to hear what you think :)

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