Am I a chicken noodlehead?

I've been catching up on the Joy Diet this week. It has nothing to do with chickens; this is just an excuse to double up my posting as I join the Three Muses Chicken art challenge. Or does it?

Might the word 'chicken' just be resonating a teeny tiny bit with me today? Did I or did I not tell myself to quit my job yesterday? Was a voice not YELLING VERY LOUDLY in my ear that my destiny is awaiting? I've got this sort of feeling you see, a very crazy one, that putting myself out of work in the middle of an economic slowdown could be the very thing I'll never regret.

I've convinced myself that it will open a door. I don't quite know which yet. Perhaps it's the barn door and the chickens will bolt for freedom. Maybe deep down inside, something is telling me that surely I could be happier anywhere else than in this role. It's not fate or destiny pulling; it's misery pushing.

It's all the fault of this Joy Diet. I've been munching my way through the chapter on Risk. I can handle this chapter far more than the truth and desire, it really is rather palatable. I don't mind a portion or two of risk. I think of myself as quite courageous sometimes. I reviewed Martha Beck's Risk Assessment tool. It told me this was a risk most definitely worth taking. Today though I'm a chicken. I didn't quit. I thought about it. I thought some more. Then I just booked a few days off to tuck my head under my wing and shut the thinking out.

Martha's view on risk is that it forces us into action. I could sit here and moan about my job for months, applying here and there for something, but I feel so low that my heart is not in it. I get home every evening with little enough energy to make the dinner, let alone forge ahead with plans for an entrepreneurial career. Lack of money, for one thing, would be a powerful motivator.

My gut instincts aren't often wrong. What adventure awaits if I quit? Destitution? I don't believe so. Something just tells me it is the right thing to do - that magic door will open and if I don't hurry up it will be shut and bolted forever. And, as Martha suggests: What's safe about not being who you were meant to be? Life is NOT a rehearsal.

Have I convinced myself yet? Or am I still too chicken? Or just a chicken noodle head? Answers on a postcard...

Finishing on the art: This regal rooster was snapped by me back in the Spring and has been 'on ice' waiting for his big moment. Then, when it came down to it, all he got for his pains was a quick bit of filtering in photoshop. He does look rather pretty though with his rainbow noodle feathers. He's off to flirt with the chicks now.

Ah, but then I felt sorry for him and asked him to pose while I got out my acrylics. He's not quite finished as you can see, but I'm a touch busy today...